Okay... so the entire Twilight series kinda drives me nuts.
'Kinda' as in 'makes me shoot off into a rant every time someone mentions it, therefore making it a taboo word very fast to anyone within the nearest fifty feet of me.'
So I'm going to try to dissect my strange loathing, which will probably result in about one million Sparklepires accidentally stumbling on this post while looking for Black Market pictures of Edward Cullen, getting hugely angry, forming together into one big Sparkle Vampire Beast Of Doom, and then storming down and setting my house on fire.
But I digress.
Item one: Bella DRIVES ME CRAZY.
Okay, so Sparklepires might not burn my house down on this one, because a lot of them agree with me, if only because they want to keep Edward to themselves (or, for Jacob fans, keep the two of them from ever having children). But seriously. She's just so... I don't know... cardboard. Like, all long suffering 'I'll die for you' one minute, and then a whiny toddler the next. But it's so... predictable. I guess she just seems really, really shallow. At least to me.
Item two: Edward ALSO DRIVES ME CRAZY.
And this is the one where a whole lot of crazed fans are going to march down through the streets with pitchforks. Except for the Jacob fans. I think maybe they are still okay with me. But Edward... can you say 'Typical?' As in dreamboy typical? So incredibly predictable, our dear Edward. Always the night in shining armor. Even though sometimes I swear he's riding the horse the wrong way around.
Item three: Jacob DRIVES MY CRAZY TOO.
And here's where Edward and Jacob fans will actually work together for once, with the singular goal of killing the heathen. But Jacob... I think that maybe it's not him, but it's such the cop-out, making him imprint on Bella's kid. I mean, it's like dear Miss Meyer suddenly saw him as a huge nuisance, being in love with Edward's girl and all, so she pawned him off on someone else.
My conclusion: I dislike Twilight because it's full of people who DRIVE ME CRAZY.
That's all.
Ima gonna go buy myself some fireproof jammies.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
DRAAAACO! (warning, may contain Harry Potter spoilers!)
Soooo... I saw harry potter 6... twice.
No, I'm not a huge geek. My friend asked me to go with him and his family (they had an extra ticket), with the sole requirement that I had to wear a bright red Griffindor robe. So I probably looked like a geek. But I'm not. I swear. So I went with them, and the next day (i.e. today) my family decides to go too.
So, I've seen it twice. I still come to the same conclusion: Whoever plays Draco Malfoy is REALLY GOOD.
I mean, seriously. He needs some sort of big movie award. Anyone who can make you want to reach into the screen and try to fix his life is really, really good at his job. This guy is probably the first villain you want to go and hug.
And the writing is a lot better for this movie. It's way more natural, along with the interactions with other characters.
And I gotta say, Harry hyped up on Liquid Luck potion is something everyone's gotta see.
"Well, that and the pinchers." (moves fingers in crab-like motion)
Seriously. FUNNY.
And their conversations about girls.
"And... she's got nice skin."
"Skin? You're saying he's dating my sister because of her skin?"
"No, I'm just saying it could be a contributing factor..."
Boys, do you all really have conversations like this?
I'm just curious...
So yeah. A lot better made than the other movies. Thumbs up. Go see.
No, I'm not a huge geek. My friend asked me to go with him and his family (they had an extra ticket), with the sole requirement that I had to wear a bright red Griffindor robe. So I probably looked like a geek. But I'm not. I swear. So I went with them, and the next day (i.e. today) my family decides to go too.
So, I've seen it twice. I still come to the same conclusion: Whoever plays Draco Malfoy is REALLY GOOD.
I mean, seriously. He needs some sort of big movie award. Anyone who can make you want to reach into the screen and try to fix his life is really, really good at his job. This guy is probably the first villain you want to go and hug.
And the writing is a lot better for this movie. It's way more natural, along with the interactions with other characters.
And I gotta say, Harry hyped up on Liquid Luck potion is something everyone's gotta see.
"Well, that and the pinchers." (moves fingers in crab-like motion)
Seriously. FUNNY.
And their conversations about girls.
"And... she's got nice skin."
"Skin? You're saying he's dating my sister because of her skin?"
"No, I'm just saying it could be a contributing factor..."
Boys, do you all really have conversations like this?
I'm just curious...
So yeah. A lot better made than the other movies. Thumbs up. Go see.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Bath and Body Works...
Okay, so has anyone else seen anything odd in Bath and Body's lotion names?
I mean, they used to make sense. Like Fresh Cucumber. And Cucumber melon. (Sorry, got a cucumber craving) I mean, you can smell cucumbers. But lately...
Okay, here's an example. 'Black Amathyst.' It's a lotion, and a perfume, and a body wash. But I say this: First of all, amathysts are purple (excuse my spelling). Second of all, seriously people, it's a jewel. It isn't supposed to smell like anything. So what is this scent supposed to be, exactly?
And another. Sensual Amber. Amber is something that comes out of trees and is mostly noted for preserving bugs. And we want to be rubbing this all over our legs?
Just a thought.
I mean, they used to make sense. Like Fresh Cucumber. And Cucumber melon. (Sorry, got a cucumber craving) I mean, you can smell cucumbers. But lately...
Okay, here's an example. 'Black Amathyst.' It's a lotion, and a perfume, and a body wash. But I say this: First of all, amathysts are purple (excuse my spelling). Second of all, seriously people, it's a jewel. It isn't supposed to smell like anything. So what is this scent supposed to be, exactly?
And another. Sensual Amber. Amber is something that comes out of trees and is mostly noted for preserving bugs. And we want to be rubbing this all over our legs?
Just a thought.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
TREK...
So, I went on Trek this week. Here's another big catchup session. YAY!
TREK DAY ONE
So, dressed all pioneer-ish, our stake (tiny, but that's all right) meets at a ward building with all of our belongings (at least, what's going on the trip) shoved into 5-gallon laundry buckets. We all pack on a bus. It is, in fact, a Le Bus, which has a TV, footrests, and a bathroom, which is pretty much the most technology we're going to see in a while. But, skipping ahead to the actual walking-trek part...
At the site, we are assigned to families (JACKSONS RULE! Who cares if we trekked slow, we had a heck of a lot more fun than everyone else). We pack our buckets into a handcart. We start pulling.
Pulling a handcart is a heck of a lot harder than people think. There were so many hills. And so many rocks. And so many hilly rocks. And the handcart enjoys getting stuck on hilly rocks. Especially the big ones that stop the wheels and make you feel like your arms are about to fall off.
Those rocks.
But all is fine and dandy for day one. We get catered food (poor guys have to drive like two hours to get to us through all that darned nature... kidding about the darned, nature I love you), and we sit on our buckets and talk until it's time to set up the tents.
Ah, the tents.
The tent... is a tarp. A big one. We stuck a really big stick in the middle to hold it up.
Oh. And it's Co-ed.
So, boy's on one side, girls on the other. Interesting.
But, like aforementioned in parenthesis, my family rules. No one else has members that count sheep. Out loud. And name each one. It was probably the most hilarious thing ever, except I think that maybe I fell asleep at sheep number four.
DAY TWO
So... I'll summarize.
We wake up at six a.m. and the guy sent to blow the bugle at us laughs his head off first because all of the guys are too tall for their sleeping space, which results in several pairs of feet sticking out of the tent. I would've laughed too. I love those guys.
Then comes the women's pull. A long, rocky, steep hill that all the girls have to pull the handcart up... by themselves. The boys have to stand at the top and watch.
But... to the part of the day that pretty much changed the way the rest of the Trek went for me.
I have knee problems, which caused me to have ankle and hip problems. We're halfway through the Trek when, as I'm pulling the cart, it rolls forward and knocks into my side.
My hip pops. Really loud.
It really, really hurt.
So, I stumble pathetically out of the yoke. I am trying really, really hard not to cry. I'm failing miserably. Everyone in my 'family' is freaking out a little. But, in the spirit of Trek, I decide to keep going. We get to a river crossing, where the guys carry the girls across. Afterwards, I sit on a rock and, yes, I cry. And feel really, really stupid about it.
And guess what?
One of the boys in my 'family' (who I apparently knew in preschool... I had no idea until my mom told me when I got home) forces me onto his back and carries me a mile and a half until we reach the checkpoint for the day.
And carries me around camp, too.
I think I owe him the biggest favor EVER.
Oh, and we told scary stories in the tent. No one thought I could be scary, but... well, I freaked 'em all out, that's all I can say.
DAY THREE (LAST)
So, we wake up at six again. Boy's feet are still peeking from under the tent after another night of naming sheep.
We start hiking. I'm doing okay... buuuuut not okay enough.
I got carried pretty much the whole way.
That guy deserves the biggest hug in the universe.
Soooo, that was my Trek. In Sparknote form. Especially that last one. Now... I think I'm going to bed.
For a long, long time.
TREK DAY ONE
So, dressed all pioneer-ish, our stake (tiny, but that's all right) meets at a ward building with all of our belongings (at least, what's going on the trip) shoved into 5-gallon laundry buckets. We all pack on a bus. It is, in fact, a Le Bus, which has a TV, footrests, and a bathroom, which is pretty much the most technology we're going to see in a while. But, skipping ahead to the actual walking-trek part...
At the site, we are assigned to families (JACKSONS RULE! Who cares if we trekked slow, we had a heck of a lot more fun than everyone else). We pack our buckets into a handcart. We start pulling.
Pulling a handcart is a heck of a lot harder than people think. There were so many hills. And so many rocks. And so many hilly rocks. And the handcart enjoys getting stuck on hilly rocks. Especially the big ones that stop the wheels and make you feel like your arms are about to fall off.
Those rocks.
But all is fine and dandy for day one. We get catered food (poor guys have to drive like two hours to get to us through all that darned nature... kidding about the darned, nature I love you), and we sit on our buckets and talk until it's time to set up the tents.
Ah, the tents.
The tent... is a tarp. A big one. We stuck a really big stick in the middle to hold it up.
Oh. And it's Co-ed.
So, boy's on one side, girls on the other. Interesting.
But, like aforementioned in parenthesis, my family rules. No one else has members that count sheep. Out loud. And name each one. It was probably the most hilarious thing ever, except I think that maybe I fell asleep at sheep number four.
DAY TWO
So... I'll summarize.
We wake up at six a.m. and the guy sent to blow the bugle at us laughs his head off first because all of the guys are too tall for their sleeping space, which results in several pairs of feet sticking out of the tent. I would've laughed too. I love those guys.
Then comes the women's pull. A long, rocky, steep hill that all the girls have to pull the handcart up... by themselves. The boys have to stand at the top and watch.
But... to the part of the day that pretty much changed the way the rest of the Trek went for me.
I have knee problems, which caused me to have ankle and hip problems. We're halfway through the Trek when, as I'm pulling the cart, it rolls forward and knocks into my side.
My hip pops. Really loud.
It really, really hurt.
So, I stumble pathetically out of the yoke. I am trying really, really hard not to cry. I'm failing miserably. Everyone in my 'family' is freaking out a little. But, in the spirit of Trek, I decide to keep going. We get to a river crossing, where the guys carry the girls across. Afterwards, I sit on a rock and, yes, I cry. And feel really, really stupid about it.
And guess what?
One of the boys in my 'family' (who I apparently knew in preschool... I had no idea until my mom told me when I got home) forces me onto his back and carries me a mile and a half until we reach the checkpoint for the day.
And carries me around camp, too.
I think I owe him the biggest favor EVER.
Oh, and we told scary stories in the tent. No one thought I could be scary, but... well, I freaked 'em all out, that's all I can say.
DAY THREE (LAST)
So, we wake up at six again. Boy's feet are still peeking from under the tent after another night of naming sheep.
We start hiking. I'm doing okay... buuuuut not okay enough.
I got carried pretty much the whole way.
That guy deserves the biggest hug in the universe.
Soooo, that was my Trek. In Sparknote form. Especially that last one. Now... I think I'm going to bed.
For a long, long time.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
CALIFORNIA
Sooo... I've been in california for the past week or so... and here is my random spewing catchup session.
KNOT'S BERRY FARM
So, my brothers are in a dancing performing group, and they went on tour in Cali. So, day one we go to Knot's Berry Farm.
FYI... Dumbest theme park EVER.
I also have a question... What does this park have to do with Snoopy? And why is he everywhere? Not that I have an issue with Peanuts or anything... but it's hard to enjoy your lunch when you have a big dog staring at you going 'PLAY WITH ME.'
We also saw 'Everybody Loves Snoopy,' a random, psychadellic ice show with mascots wearing big plush heads skating around and dancing with professional skaters in miniskirts.
Hm.
UNIVERSAL STUDIOS
Day two, the boys dance at Universal Studios.
Much, much better than Knot's Berry Farm, let me tell you. And bigger. There's an awesome tour, where you get to go through the studio itself... waaay fun. I can't describe it, so you'll have to see it yourself.
There's also this WAY cool Jurassic Park ride... you're in a raft and floating down a river, looking at all these herbavores and marvelling at rather jerky anamatronics, and then you 'accidentally' float into a restricted zone and get spit at by angry velociraptors.
There's a huge drop at the end, right under a t-rex that pops out of the wall... and they take your picture.
I am never showing anyone mine. >.<
SIX FLAGS-MAGIC MOUNTAIN
Hmm...
Talk about huge roller coasters. There's one called the Goliath that my dad and brother went on, and they literally almost blacked out because of the g-force. It takes you up WAY HIGH, and then shoots you down... underground.
That can't be good for your health.
Another question: What is the connection with Six Flags and Looney Tunes? THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. You can't walk past without seeing Bugs Bunny grinning at you from somewhere.
That, and comics. The Superman ride? Duuuude. 50-foot tall vertical drop. BACKWARDS.
Egyaaarguh.
Food there? Icky. Just so you know. BYOL. Bring your own lunch.
DISNEYLAND
Whoot.
Okay, it's the place everyone knows. Meet the magic. It's also a place of hyped up prices and ten-dollar burgers, but hey. It's freakin' Disneyland.
Haunted Mansion? SHWEET.
Splash Mountain? Also shweet, except I'm never showing anyone my picture for that one either. Could my mouth get any bigger? Seriously.
Winnie the Pooh ride... I'm sorry, but someone was a little up in the clouds when they were making that one. Neon colors and flashing lights. "Heeeehfuluuuumps and WOOOZULLLS..."
Spinning colors and maniac woozle laughter... someone needed to lay off the Happy Juice... Or at least to stop sniffin' Pixie Sticks...
Indiana Jones... Probably would have been better if I'd had my glasses at the time. I don't wear them a lot (my bad), so everything was like "What's that line? A snake? Oh. A snake. Don't look into the eyes of the idol? What ido-- OH."
And going into Sudden Doom gives you whiplash.
Buzz Lightyear... That ride rocks. You get to shoot stuff. Except it stopped in the middle, and my mom was right in front of this big bonus target that I just couldn't reach... and so I got my butt kicked.
I will show people my picture for that one. I look COOOOOL.
CALIFORNIA ADVENTURE
Didn't get to do stuff here, really... We saw this Alladin musical that was about 45 minutes... But I'm talking, like, full blown production. Effects and everything. Wires for the flying carpet, smoke, trapdoors... And the guy who played the genie needed an award or something. He was HILARIOUS. And a great ad-libber.
"I wish... to be SULTAN!"
*silence*
"Uh... congradulations. You're sultan. *Pause* Hah, you know what would be great? If your last name was Peppershaker. Hah. Haha. Salt-And-Pepper-Shaker? Haha. Haha. Haha...you're mean."
Or even better,
Jasmine: Do you expect me to fall in love with every prince that just bursts in and tries to steal my heart with gold and riches?
Genie: *Jumps in* BURST! Hi, I'm here in favor of Prince Ali, who has lots of gold and riches!
And Soaring Over California? WOW! Way cooool. Love it.
Didn't get to go on Tower of Terror tho. (pout)
KNOT'S BERRY FARM
So, my brothers are in a dancing performing group, and they went on tour in Cali. So, day one we go to Knot's Berry Farm.
FYI... Dumbest theme park EVER.
I also have a question... What does this park have to do with Snoopy? And why is he everywhere? Not that I have an issue with Peanuts or anything... but it's hard to enjoy your lunch when you have a big dog staring at you going 'PLAY WITH ME.'
We also saw 'Everybody Loves Snoopy,' a random, psychadellic ice show with mascots wearing big plush heads skating around and dancing with professional skaters in miniskirts.
Hm.
UNIVERSAL STUDIOS
Day two, the boys dance at Universal Studios.
Much, much better than Knot's Berry Farm, let me tell you. And bigger. There's an awesome tour, where you get to go through the studio itself... waaay fun. I can't describe it, so you'll have to see it yourself.
There's also this WAY cool Jurassic Park ride... you're in a raft and floating down a river, looking at all these herbavores and marvelling at rather jerky anamatronics, and then you 'accidentally' float into a restricted zone and get spit at by angry velociraptors.
There's a huge drop at the end, right under a t-rex that pops out of the wall... and they take your picture.
I am never showing anyone mine. >.<
SIX FLAGS-MAGIC MOUNTAIN
Hmm...
Talk about huge roller coasters. There's one called the Goliath that my dad and brother went on, and they literally almost blacked out because of the g-force. It takes you up WAY HIGH, and then shoots you down... underground.
That can't be good for your health.
Another question: What is the connection with Six Flags and Looney Tunes? THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. You can't walk past without seeing Bugs Bunny grinning at you from somewhere.
That, and comics. The Superman ride? Duuuude. 50-foot tall vertical drop. BACKWARDS.
Egyaaarguh.
Food there? Icky. Just so you know. BYOL. Bring your own lunch.
DISNEYLAND
Whoot.
Okay, it's the place everyone knows. Meet the magic. It's also a place of hyped up prices and ten-dollar burgers, but hey. It's freakin' Disneyland.
Haunted Mansion? SHWEET.
Splash Mountain? Also shweet, except I'm never showing anyone my picture for that one either. Could my mouth get any bigger? Seriously.
Winnie the Pooh ride... I'm sorry, but someone was a little up in the clouds when they were making that one. Neon colors and flashing lights. "Heeeehfuluuuumps and WOOOZULLLS..."
Spinning colors and maniac woozle laughter... someone needed to lay off the Happy Juice... Or at least to stop sniffin' Pixie Sticks...
Indiana Jones... Probably would have been better if I'd had my glasses at the time. I don't wear them a lot (my bad), so everything was like "What's that line? A snake? Oh. A snake. Don't look into the eyes of the idol? What ido-- OH."
And going into Sudden Doom gives you whiplash.
Buzz Lightyear... That ride rocks. You get to shoot stuff. Except it stopped in the middle, and my mom was right in front of this big bonus target that I just couldn't reach... and so I got my butt kicked.
I will show people my picture for that one. I look COOOOOL.
CALIFORNIA ADVENTURE
Didn't get to do stuff here, really... We saw this Alladin musical that was about 45 minutes... But I'm talking, like, full blown production. Effects and everything. Wires for the flying carpet, smoke, trapdoors... And the guy who played the genie needed an award or something. He was HILARIOUS. And a great ad-libber.
"I wish... to be SULTAN!"
*silence*
"Uh... congradulations. You're sultan. *Pause* Hah, you know what would be great? If your last name was Peppershaker. Hah. Haha. Salt-And-Pepper-Shaker? Haha. Haha. Haha...you're mean."
Or even better,
Jasmine: Do you expect me to fall in love with every prince that just bursts in and tries to steal my heart with gold and riches?
Genie: *Jumps in* BURST! Hi, I'm here in favor of Prince Ali, who has lots of gold and riches!
And Soaring Over California? WOW! Way cooool. Love it.
Didn't get to go on Tower of Terror tho. (pout)
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